There was a time when I forgot who I was. I had abandoned what I once held close and valued as my core self. I didn’t necessarily “forget” who I was, but I was being dragged away from it and didn’t have the energy to fight back any longer.
Looking back on this time, I can’t believe I how I felt about and treated myself. It was a daily battle against self sabotage and what my heart and soul was aching for. I knew in my gut what I needed to do for myself, to rise up out of the pits, but when the opportunity came to make the change, I couldn’t step up.
And then, one day I did. One day I said yes, yes I will show up for myself and break this pattern of self defeat. It was small, but it lit that flame of self empowerment, and it felt good. So little by little my flame grew. Each time that little voice said “do it” or “speak your truth” or “say no” I started to listen and ACT. The more I showed up for myself, and took action, the easier it got and the more energy I had.
Then one day, sitting alone in my apartment, doing yoga on my living room floor, I stopped and hugged myself. It was the first time I realized that I truly loved who I was, and who I was becoming. I cried out of joy and gratitude, that I had found my way there and remembered who I was.
These day’s, here in Thailand, I am rekindling that relationship with myself, and I am being challenged to take it to new levels. Believing that I am enough, that I have all that I need to build the life that I’ve dreamed. To know that I have what it takes to build a business and rely on my knowledge and skills to hold it together. It is something that I know is true in my heart, but to put it into action is the challenge. No excuses, no self sabotage, no justifying why I should quit. But following through and knowing that I am enough.